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Welcome to ENDLESS DIAMOND SKY! We are an animation personified site set both in the animated world and present day San Francisco. Open since OCTOBER 2015, we are a friendly, thriving community who welcomes players from all levels and backgrounds. When registering your account, please register with first middle last in all lowercase!

A terrible darkness is spreading through the animated realm, driving everyone from their homes and into unknown territory that we know as reality. Now they find themselves at a crossroads: do they fight for their world or do they turn their back on it and make San Francisco their home? What will you choose?

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  SAN FRANCISCO, CALIF.
   PRESENT DAY, 2018
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 home summons the soul, nyah / jane
samuel leander james
 Posted: Apr 2 2017, 08:43 PM
  quote

A king's time as ruler rises and falls like the sun.

  mufasa
  the lion king
  45 years old
  married
  heterosexual
  HE | HIM
  sam (SHE | HER)
 60 POSTS

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There were certain truths that the former King of the Pridelands had come to accept. The first was that the savanna no matter how much he missed its golden grasses and shimmering sunlight, was no longer his home. Not just because the darkness had laid waste to the once beautiful land he'd so endlessly cared for, but because his time in that world had set. Were it not for the portal he would have died at the foot of that gorge and joined the rest of the Great Kings in the sky. A fate that sometimes felt far better then the one he'd been granted. Secondly, he owed a debt to the world that saved him. Wanted or not, he'd been given a second chance at life. One he would not squander or waste, nor would he ever truthfully abandon. Even when he'd been forced to watch as his son grew from a distance, and his kingdom fell into disaster. Even when he saw his Queen suffering at the hands of his brother. He'd stayed true to his course. Ignoring the ache in his own heart as it grew to consume him. Last but not least he understood that in this world age was an unfortunate companion. Certainly the injuries he'd sustained hadn't helped and there was an ache in his bones in San Francisco, but it was nothing compared to the stiffness that settled over him the second he was a lion again.

For a moment Mufasa stood at the mouth of the portal just trying to let everything settle. His paws shifted, claws dragging small lines in the dirt beneath him. Looking out at the plains one might even let themselves be fooled into believing that everything was as it should be. It was a gorgeous day; the sky was bright and the sun's rays were golden streams of light.

He knew better.

In his time as King of the Pridelands he couldn't remember a time when he'd looked down over the land and not seen something. The Elephant herd working their way across the horizon, the zebras grazing off to the side. Even from up on this ridge, he should be able to watch the circle of life playing out. The air should have been filled with the sounds of beetles and flies buzzing, the voices of birds conversing overhead. All that met him now was a sullen silence. The world holding its breathe for far too long that he wondered if it would ever exhale again. Then there was the smell. It didn't strike him at first, but a breeze brought with it the stench of death, and he cringed from it. Head bowing, trying to shake the scent from his nose.

"Wonderful..." voice a growl. Letting that be his deciding factor as he finally stepped forward. His footsteps slow and careful, ears rotating to listen to the world around him. It was one thing to feel nostalgic about his old home. Wanting to see the Pridelands and Priderock again, to make sure that none of his family still lingered there, was one thing. He had no intention of dying in favor of it.

He's not sure how much distance he traveled, or how long it took him to see pride rock in the distance. Either way by the time he reached the place he'd once looked out at all the animals coming to welcome his son into the world, exhaustion made him flop to the ground. Eyes closing as he rested against the warm stones, smoothed by the constant steps of so many lions. Generations stretching back father then their stories could remember. Noises in that silence traveled, and the snap of a twig was almost like hearing a gunshot in the other world. It shattered the quiet so fiercely that he was almost surprised the sky itself hadn't cracked open. Body surging to its feet again despite his muscles protesting, eyes scanning the savanna around Pride Rock. And here he'd been hoping that this trip would be quick and painless.

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nyah jade adebowale
 Posted: Apr 2 2017, 11:47 PM
  quote

I thought you were very brave.

  nala
  The Lion King
  33 years old
  Married
  Heterosexual
  She/Her
  jane (She/Her)
 47 POSTS

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A GHOST STANDS BEFORE ME
samuel leander james. 869. I couldn’t resist.
Home. It loomed before her like a desolate mountain. No prey scampered by. No breeze to cool the stifling heat…The portal, it seemed had a cruel sense of humor today. Not once in all her years masquerading as a human had it brought her here. To the savannah. To her home. And to be honest, though she searched for those she’d lost—for those she had abandoned in her search for her daughter and the subsequent grief that followed—she hadn’t wanted to come back. She still didn’t. Guilt weighed heavy on Nyah’s soul. She had lost her daughter. Not due to sickness or starvation but because of an argument. One that could have been—that ought to have been avoided. All it would have taken was for her to speak her heart and stood her ground against her husband. He would have listened. She would have made him. But she hadn’t. Not out of fear—the only lion to spark fear in her was long dead now thanks to his misdeeds—but out of a silly romanticized notion of hope. Hope that the mate of her heart would realize what he was doing and stop. On his own. That he would snap out of his worries and paranoia after they all were safe. That he’d return to her like he had before.

But he hadn’t. She had yearned for an escape. For a chance to run from her husband’s haunted gaze, too like her own and with a span of near silence that was unbreakable now, and away from her responsibilities. To just be. Not Nala the failure. The coward. The deserter . Or to be Nyah the human. The abandoned. The jaded. But to just be. To run until her sides ached and limbs trembled with exhaustion. To chase the sun. To drink from a cool stream. But now…now once her eyes clapped on that familiar silhouette…there was only one place she could go.

Home.

Paws heavy. Tail dragging behind her in the dust. Eyes unable to look away from their destination. Nyah looked more like a lamb being led to the slaughter or a criminal to his prison than a Queen returning home. But it felt like with every step, the burden in her chest grew heavier. She felt worse than she had ever felt before. Far worse than hearing of Mufasa’s death. Worse than when she had disappointed that great king by following—and encouraging—his young son into the elephant graveyard. What would the mighty king think if he could see her now? And would she care? Could she change to please him or his son? Or would she growl and rage against him? A twig cracked under her heavy steps and the sharp sting of a thorn broke her out of her trance. Good thing too, as she was nearly there. Squinting against the sunlight, she could almost swear she saw someone standing on Pride Rock, looming down at her. And if she could recognize that shape…she’d have sworn…but that was ridiculous. It must be the heat or her own guilt playing tricks on her. She’d climb up there herself, definitely not to check things out, but to rest. From up there she’d be safer. That was all. Shaking her head firmly, she gingerly continued on her way. But the sense of being watched didn’t stop. Nor did the shape of what she thought she saw fade as she got closer to the summit. If anything, it sharpened and became more real than it was below. Mufasa. As if summoned by her own thoughts…was here. In this place. “It can’t be.”he murmured stopping in her tracks, voice filled with an odd mix of awe and horror, “Tell me I’m dreaming…you…you can’t be here. Not after everything…”


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samuel leander james
 Posted: Apr 7 2017, 01:02 AM
  quote

A king's time as ruler rises and falls like the sun.

  mufasa
  the lion king
  45 years old
  married
  heterosexual
  HE | HIM
  sam (SHE | HER)
 60 POSTS

awards








nyah jade adebowale | i was hoping c:
There seemed to be always two sides at war within him these days. There was of course the lion and the man. One surviving by a set of rules that were fundamental in nature and easily understood, the other struggling through the mire that was the United States legal system. There was the father and husband who missed his family, who'd had every chance to return to them but hadn't. And the King who'd seen what was meant for his destiny and chose to step back to let it play its course. Regardless of the pain that it caused to spread across his chest like a deadly disease. Even now, standing where he'd once greeted his kingdom. Mufasa could feel those conflicting sides struggling in a seemingly endless battle. All through his long trek from the portal, across the vast savanna, a part of him wished to find familiarity here. A part of him had come seeking answers, seeking refuge from his own inner storms. Yet the very idea of stumbling across anyone from his old life made the blood run cold in his veins. It was a wish he'd learned to hide deep with himself, buried far from the light of day. As much as he dreamed that the darkness had not touched Pride Rock, and the ones he loved still prowled these grasslands, he couldn't bring himself to be a part of that vision.

In all honesty he did not know what he'd do if there had been someone here. Probably kept himself to the shadows as he'd always done, never daring to get this close to his old home. Not wanting to risk being spotted and having to deal with the consequences of what that meant. The explanations that would need to be made, the excuses that would never make up for what he'd done. Even if the spirits told him he couldn't come back, even if he'd been too hurt to ever dream of fighting scar or the hyenas, there was only so much someone could forgive.

In a way he shouldn't have been surprised that he wasn't alone out here. It seems he'd put a lot of hope onto this moment. Asking too much of a world he'd long since come to learn was not fond of giving him what he asked for. He'd wanted peace, he should have known better then to come searching for it here. In this world where lives get torn apart. He'd expected to be alone, and yet the sound of footsteps told him otherwise. His hackles were up, fur bristling at the possibility of a threat, but it all melted away when recognition settled over him. Not her voice, he'd never gotten a chance to hear Nala's voice when she was older. Yet another downside to always watching from a distance, but the scent was the same.

And the spirits knew her.

He didn't turn at first. How could he? What was he going to say. The words that cycled through his mind felt as they always did; too flat and useless to be of any use. He didn't have time to stand and ignore her. Couldn't evaporate into thin air like he knew she was most likely expecting him to ( and like he wanted to if he was honest. ) It was either turn around now or...well there was no other option. He couldn't jump from up here, perhaps once, but not now. And he certainly couldn't outrun her even if he dared to try darting past her. Plus, that was the cowards way out. As much as he'd been dreading this from ever happening, it was a moment that was here and one he couldn't take back or change. So he squared his shoulders, and let out the breathe he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. His eyes focusing once more on the land that stretched out in front of him, trying to draw strength from a vista that was only vaguely familiar.

Slowly he turned, a long sigh threatening to make his already tired body sag. Yet he forced himself to stand straight; wondering briefly if he looked different. Thinner perhaps, or older, was there gray in his mane? Scars marring his coat?

"I wish I could say you were dreaming. It would make this... easier." His head shook, but he didn't dare move any closer. "It is good to see you Nala."

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nyah jade adebowale
 Posted: Apr 7 2017, 06:29 PM
  quote

I thought you were very brave.

  nala
  The Lion King
  33 years old
  Married
  Heterosexual
  She/Her
  jane (She/Her)
 47 POSTS

awards








A GHOST STANDS BEFORE ME
samuel leander james. 1000. She ‘s very bitter << sorry.
Good to see her? After all this time? After all her prayers? After begging him for answers? For guidance? And now, now when she turned her back from the great kings, now when she walked in darkness, alone, now he appeared. When she didn’t want him. Didn’t need him. He was much changed from the glorious king that she remembered. His shoulders seemed heavy, burdened with an unseen weight, yet he stood tall. Not naturally as he once had but as though he was forced to do so. Time had traced its fingers through his mane and coat, speckling it with gray where once there was none. And he looked…smaller. The Mufasa from her past had seemed a giant (though she had been smaller herself then) and able to do anything. He had charged into the elephant’s graveyard that day, without fear or worry for what he might find, and to see him fight…nothing could have touched him. He had been the very picture of strength. But in the end, it hadn’t mattered how strong he was, Scar’s hatred and jealousy ran deep. The stampede, the betrayal, Simba’s exile…it had been an ingeniously crafted coup. And they hadn’t even realized it. And when they had…it was too late. They’d been forced to endure the mad king’s new era of an unholy union between lions and hyenas. Over hunting to appease their new ‘allies’ led to the once lush landscape turning desolate. They had to go farther and farther out to find even the smallest scrap of food.

But they had endured. That hardship had led to their ultimate salvation, finding Simba, leading him to his destiny—through supposed help from the king who stood before her—and defeating Scar.

That, she could forgive the great king for, after all it had worked out (of a sort) in the end. Yes, the pride was now split in two with Zira and her outlanders creeping in closer every day…but what she couldn’t forgive was Mufasa’s silence on the matter of her daughter. Or what to do about his son. She wasn’t an innocent, she knew that now. He had abandoned them during the madness of Scar and she had abandoned them in the aftermath of her daughter’s death. Both had blood in their teeth and on their paws. But she who was supposed to be a daughter to him heard no guidance. Had no signs. Was left alone. To suffer alone. Where was he when she needed him most? He’d appeared to Simba, out there in the oasis. Put on a show, gave encouragement, and wisdom. Enough to save a kingdom. She had wanted to save a kingdom too. Kiara. His own flesh and blood. But no word came. No shared grief. No comfort at all. Just the stony silence of the night sky.

And now. Now it was, good to see you, as though they had parted on good terms or that nothing was wrong. As if he’d tried to give her the answers she had tearfully sought. As if he had cared. And maybe to him, nothing was wrong. Maybe that was what caused the flame of anger to be lit in her belly as the surprise of seeing him melted away. Either way, the hurt was evident in her growled out words, “I wish I could say the same.” Impertinent, yes. In days past she would have never dreamed of speaking to him that way. But she, like he, had changed over the years. She wasn’t the timid cub hiding in the grass or his son’s mouthy sidekick. She was a queen, in her own right, and she had lost much (if not all) of her respect for him when he had left her to wander alone. Perhaps she could have been kinder, it was easier to catch flies with honey as the saying went, but she was tired—chased by more ghosts than just the one before her—and he had not only taken her daughter to the stars but her husband as well. Oh yes, Simba still breathed and walked beside her but for all the comfort he was (or she to him if she were in a honest mood) he might as well be lost to her. And though a part of the gaping cavern between them was her own doing, another part could be attributed to Mufasa himself. She had lost her carefree love, the one who could make her smile, and brighten the cloudiest of days to someone she barely knew. Obsessed with his following in his father’s steps, over protective, distant, easily angered…this wasn’t who she pledged her life to. And she didn’t know how to get him back.

The questions she thought she’d ask if ever she saw Mufasa’s face in the sky faded away. Lost to anger and bitterness. Only one remained. One she doubted the old king could answer, yet it slipped out of her mouth anyway. “Why?” She said, eyes narrowed and tail lashing behind her, “Why now? I’ve ceased asking you questions or making pleas. I’ve long since stopped putting my faith into the paws of those long dead and hardened to all but a favored few. So why have you come now? To torment me? To laugh at me?” He had been right about one thing, it would have been easier if this all had been a dream. Then she could wake up and forget she ever saw the once glorious king. But the pain from the thorn in her pad told her it wasn’t a dream. And now, face with the king, in the place that was once her home, she knew she had to stay and face him. Hear what he had to say. Purge her soul from this venom she carried. Not that it would help. She’d carry this bitter pain with her until she breathed her last breath. But maybe, maybe he deserved to bear it as well. At any rate, there was no going back now.


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samuel leander james
 Posted: May 13 2017, 08:58 AM
  quote

A king's time as ruler rises and falls like the sun.

  mufasa
  the lion king
  45 years old
  married
  heterosexual
  HE | HIM
  sam (SHE | HER)
 60 POSTS

awards








nyah jade adebowale | i was hoping c:
Sometime in the last handful of years he'd lost his tact. Time had worn away so many parts of who he'd been as a King, like the winds turning rock into sand. No longer was he Mufasa, King of the Pridelands. Now he was Samuel, a man as broken as the shattered bones he'd been left with after the gorge. There were so many things he could have said that would have eased this situation. Perhaps not fix it, he doubted there were enough words in all the world to fix the damage he'd done, but at the very least he could have come up with something more appropriate than; it's good to see you. As though they'd only just met up for coffee after a few years apart. As though there wasn't years and years of horror and pain laying between them like carcasses. Rotting whatever promise there might have been in their future. What would life have been life if he'd been there to watch his son grow? To watch the relationship between Nala and Simba bloom unhindered and broken by tragedy? What had he missed when Scar ripped all of that time away from him? For a moment he wondered if perhaps he was old enough to have his heart give out. Would it be too far-fetched to just feel it stop in his chest, unable to handle how heavy this moment felt. The weight of the scars that were burned in the air between them, and presence of what could of been bearing down on him like all those hooves did in his nightmares.

All he could do was nod at first. Now that he'd spoken he found that his throat tightened until each breath felt like a wheeze. Trapped somewhere in his trachea as he watched her. He'd had no intention of being found here, no idea that coming back to his old home would lead to an encounter like this...yet he should have known. The spirits never did things in halves and darkness or not they always found a way to press what they wanted. Even if the stress of it was likely to kill him where he stood. For a moment the still air around shifted, strong enough to ruffle the fur of his mane around his face. Any other might have seen it as coincidence but he'd lived too long and seen too much to turn a blind eye. Especially not when Nala stood before him; like a ghost of his past come to haunt him, only all too real and hurting. Dark eyes shifted up towards the sky for the briefest of moments. Focusing on distant clouds that coasted across the wide expanse of blue, seemingly unaffected by anything that transpired beneath them. Not the darkness ravaged land, or the shuddering impact of two forces meeting in what was certain to be a flaming disaster.

Her question, her words, the very demeanor that she carried herself with. All the pain and anger he could feel in the tone of her voice. It cut into him and he felt himself flinch despite whatever front of strength he tried to put up. He could play the part of the strong king all he wanted, but the truth was as evident as the streaks of gray in his fur. He was old and weak, broken and worn by time and his own brooding. Suffering because he'd made the wrong decision for his heart and his people, but the right one for his mind and his son.

You should have returned.

It was a poisonous thought, as always. Whip sharp and quick in the sting of pain that it left in its wake. He should have done so many things, and he hadn't, and now the moment he'd been dreading since the first time he'd crossed back through the portal had finally arrived. Someone was confronting him about it, asking him a question he didn't know he could answer. Not in a way that was sufficient, not in a way that would fix or repair the damage that had been done. He had answers, he'd concocted speeches that sounded right but felt flat and dry as the Savannah during a long summer. Now that he had to actually speak them he found that they felt even less than before...which was saying a lot.

Still he couldn't stand here silent. She'd had enough silence in her life, enough questions gone unanswered to a sky that he'd yet to become a part of. The ancestors might be up their, their voices like chimes in the back of his mind, but he'd been stripped of that chance when he'd regained consciousness at the bottom of that gorge.

"No." He said it slow, soft. Drawing the word out as his head shook with all the kingly firmness he could manage. Trying his best to approach this with caution, to answer as truthfully as he could and hope that the world didn't burn down around his ears anymore than it already had. "Not to torment you, never. I came here to torment myself." It was the truth. More honesty then he'd dared grant himself when he'd stepped through the portal earlier this morning. He hadn't come here seeking a quiet respite, or solitude. He'd come here to torture himself for the choices he'd made and the things he'd lost. "I'm sorry Nala. I didn't mean to-" He couldn't keep his feet anymore, so he sat and his tail whipped restlessly about the ground. What did he say now? I didn't meant to abandon you? To abandon the pride?

He breathed in so deep he could feel his head spin. The scents of the world around him assaulting his senses. Gone was the familiar scent of the pride, now the air was tinged with something sour. Like death and dryness. "I did not die in that gorge. I couldn't answer your prayers, but I couldn't come back to save you either...and for that there is no apology that I can give."

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nyah jade adebowale
 Posted: Jul 8 2017, 09:02 AM
  quote

I thought you were very brave.

  nala
  The Lion King
  33 years old
  Married
  Heterosexual
  She/Her
  jane (She/Her)
 47 POSTS

awards








A GHOST STANDS BEFORE ME
samuel leander james. 860. D: sorry ‘fasa
There was no apology that he could have given that wouldn’t have sounded hollow to her ears. This one however, felt more like a slap across the face. Especially knowing what she knew of her husband’s own ‘magical’ experience back in the oasis. It seemed that apologies instead of actions was a paternal trait passed from father to son. The revelation that someone she had looked to for guidance and protection for so long wasn’t all-powerful or perfect but was instead far too similar to her own husband made her sick. He was sorry. Tau was sorry. Even Nyah herself was sorry. But ‘I'm sorry’ wouldn’t fix what was broken inside her family. It wouldn’t fix what was broken inside her own heart. Instead it just showed her exactly how alone she was. There was no one she could turn to give this burden to. No one that could bring Kiara back or even let her hear her daughter’s voice again. The last dregs of hope that she didn’t even know she had blew away. The if they would only hear me then they’d answer me line of thought blew away also. They had heard. And yet still, no one answered. Not a single one of her ancestors had cared enough to even look her way. That stung more than Mufasa’s dull apology. She had always been faithful. She had tried to do her best by her pride and her king—by the stars, doing so had cost her Kiara! And yet, it wasn’t enough. She wasn’t enough.

The thought turned her cold inside. Yes, she said she had turned her back on the ancestors and walked her own path but in truth, there had been a small measure of faith left inside. Something that hoped if she just did more, if she tried more, that someone would hear her and speak with her has they had her husband. But that would never happen. The great kings of the past had heard her. Seen her make a fool of herself for them and cared nothing about her. Her own daughter had turned away from her. Still as angry with her in death as she had been in life.

It didn’t matter. So she was alone. Abandoned by her pride and her ancestors. She could make it on her own. She would carry her own burdens on her back and wrench her ‘fate’ from the paws of those worthless kings. She was a queen and until her last breath she would go on. Alone or not, she was not finished here. To do anything else would let those bastards win. And she couldn’t allow that.

The rough timbre of Mufasa’s voice jerked her attention back to him. He looked tired and unsure of himself. Miles and miles away from the king she remembered. “Don’t lie to me. I'm not a cub in awe of you anymore and you aren’t my king.” If he didn’t die in that gorge, then why couldn’t he have come back? He seemed to be able to walk just fine—although at a slower pace that he used to—and had he been unable to, they could have healed him. Rafiki would have come. The lionesses would have guarded him from Scar and when he was healed, things would have been better. Far better than they had been when he abandoned them. “You came back. I know you did. You spoke to Simba in the oasis. He saw you in the clouds, he heard your voice.” She stepped closer to him, tail lashing, “You came to your son when he needed you most. You came, you stole him from me, then you left again. Yet when I needed you, you left me alone.” Though her tone was still hard and angry, it broke near the end of her words. The memory of searching for that oasis, of pouring her heart out to one who should have cared, it hurt. She had always been a second thought after Simba and it hadn’t bothered her. She’d loved them both back then, and the idea that the great king thought of her at all was enough. He loved her and had always been there for her so it hadn’t mattered. And when she had thought them both dead, she wept. Wept for her best friend, Simba, who she had loved even then and for the great king who was like a father to her.

But that feeling was gone now. There was no duty to tie her to him. No reason for her to try to force herself to care like there was with his son. And if her experience with Tau was any indication, her trying to force things worked as well as trying to get water from a rock. It didn’t work. There was nothing but a cold, empty hole where her love for Mufasa used to be. And she doubted there was anything the old king could do or say to change that. “I don’t want your apologies or for you to save me. The time that I looked to you to do either of those things is passed. I'm nothing to you and you’re nothing to me. So do as you do best, and leave me alone.”

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samuel leander james
 Posted: Jul 22 2017, 08:02 PM
  quote

A king's time as ruler rises and falls like the sun.

  mufasa
  the lion king
  45 years old
  married
  heterosexual
  HE | HIM
  sam (SHE | HER)
 60 POSTS

awards








He might have been standing in the Savannah with the sun bearing down on him at the height of summer, but he doubted he'd ever felt so cold. A sense of dread so complete he hadn't felt it's like since he stood on a cliff edge trying to spot his son in a sea of wildebeest. He could remember being gripped by the image of Simba hanging desperately from a brittle tree every night since he'd found consciousness again in the bed of a hospital. Haunted by the violence in his brother's eyes, certain that Scar had killed them both and there had been nothing he could do about it. How desperately he'd wanted to return home no matter how many bones he'd broken or how much pain he was in. Begging the Doctor's and nurses to release him, to let him find his son. He was certain, had he been able, he'd have gone to Pride Rock a thousand times over.

Not that any of that did him any good now. He could wish that he'd chosen another path all he liked, but the truth of the matter remained. He'd essentially abandoned his family to their fate, left them in the claws of a ruthless dictator and stood back while his son was forced into exile. He'd let the Pridelands fall into ruin, let Scar torment and torture those he loved. Looking at Nala now he could see that there was a damage here that could not be undone, no matter what he did or said now. He'd let the spirits dictate his actions and he would pay the price for that now. He might have thought himself able to shoulder those consequences, but now he wasn't so sure.

It took every ounce of strength in him not to flinch at her words. He'd almost forgotten that, those few brief moments he'd been allowed to speak to his son. How he'd had to beg Rafiki to let him play a part in getting Simba on the path he needed to be on. How he'd very nearly ruined it all by coming out of the shadows and speaking to his son face to face, not as an illusion in the sky. Slowly the great lion's eyes closed and his head bowed, and his chest his heart constricted painfully. An ache in his chest that made it feel like someone was digging his very essence out of him. Leaving him empty and uncertain of himself. "I would not lie to you Nala. You are a Queen, I'm just an old lion well past his time." His head shakes, but gaze finally lifts up to look at her. "I couldn't come back, I had to beg Rafiki to let me see Simba that once...and then I had to swear not to do it again." His time was done, he'd been gone too long healing. Simba's story was written and ready to move forward, but it would never have taken shape if he'd returned that night. Simba would have never become the King he needed to be.

He wanted to say that he wished he had died that day. How much easier would things have been if he really had been watching over them always. To have been able to hear his son's prayers, Nala's, and even his granddaughter's.

This hurt, far worse than he'd ever imagined possible, but what could he do? Her anger, as far as he was concerned, was entirely justified. If she wanted nothing to do with him ever again he would respect that decision as he'd promised himself a long time ago he would. If there had ever been a chance that he'd meet any of them again, that he'd stand where he stood now and was faced with their hurt and their anger? He'd sworn that he would not make excuses or try and push. He'd done more than his fair share of damage, there was no need to go barreling through and causing more. "If that is what you wish, then that's what I'll give you. " He bowed his head low to her, a sign of respect. Though when his gaze lifted again he found himself unable to look away from her. Hating the idea that she might not want to ever see him again, that he'd have found a member of his family onto have to let it go again.

"One last thing, if we're never to see each other again. At least...tell me, is Simba alive?" His head tilts up to the sky, eyes narrowing. "I don't feel him with the spirits, so I've been assuming..." His eyes closed, "I didn't feel you either, and you're here." How often did he spend scanning the spirits in hopes that his family would not be there, that they might be alive somewhere.

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nyah jade adebowale
 Posted: Oct 19 2017, 12:48 PM
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I thought you were very brave.

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A GHOST STANDS BEFORE ME
samuel leander james. 773. She's just a sad mama.
Empty words. And false promises. That was all the lioness heard. She detected no lies, so at least the old king was true to his word, but his words did little to assuage her grief or his blame in the ruination of her past. She was certain that despite his words, had his son been in danger, Mufasa would have found a way to skirt his promise or break it entirely. But because it had been her that had asked, her that had begged him to hear her, he hid behind his promises like a snake in the grass. Were they true? Perhaps. But that didn't make the excuse go down any easier.

She almost wished he hadn't come back at all. A harsh and bitter wish she knew, but she was convinced that without the great king's interference she would have gotten Simba to come around. They had fought initially, she knew, but she would have made him see reason eventually. Of course, it was pointless spending time on what ifs. It didn't matter. The king had come. Changed and molded into an image that Mufasa had made. And though a part of her hoped that he hadn't intended for all this to happen, he ought to have known his son's tendency to take things to an extreme. The wide eyed awe (or had it been fear?) that her mate had obtained from seeing his father in the clouds had indeed given him the push that he needed to set foot on his preordained path, but at what cost? Suspicion and hate had torn their pride in two. Simba's obsession with keeping everyone safe had smothered their daughter. And a bitter blindness had hardened his heart against their daughter's pleas and forced her to flee from them and after her heart. And while she fully accepted the blame for her own part, she felt that he ought to take blame for his. And maybe he was, she thought as she studied the older lion’s posture and the tone of his voice, but that wouldn't bring her daughter back or mend the chasm between herself and Tau. The great king's actions had spurned more chaos than he knew.

She knew her words had hit their mark. Harsh though they were, at the present moment this was how she felt. Abandoned and forgotten by him, whether he had intended it or not. But her feelings mattered little. For despite her anger and pain, there was one who would love to reconnect. And it was that one that the king next asked after. Tau would never forgive her if she turned his father away. Not that it mattered, as they rarely spoke of substantial things anymore, but as much as she was loathe to admit it…she still cared for him. Less, perhaps, than in days past but buried deep under the hurt, something was still there. She wasn't hasty enough to name it love but there was something there. Added to the fact that she recognized the longing look in Mufasa’s eyes…she couldn't turn him away. The part of her that starved for any information about Kiara felt an accord with him in that briefest of moments and for the moment, her anger melted away, leaving only sadness in its wake. Here was a chance to reunite a father and son. The one thing she longed for herself. The one thing that Mufasa hadn’t been able to do. And despite the poison in her heart, she found herself unable to deny the king's request. For her mate's sake, for what they once shared, she wouldn’t stand in his way. “He is alive.” Her voice lost the fire it had possessed mere moments before, instead sounding soft and tired. Sadness mingled there too, if one had an ear for it, and just now Nyah was as vulnerable as she had ever been before the king. “If you can call what we have living. He misses you, among others, but you I think the most." Her mate was much changed from the cub he had been, even changed from the lion Mufasa had seen at the oasis. But she couldn't reach him anymore. She was too far away, too hurt by her own grief and anger. She could admit that to herself at least. Tau was drowning, and so was she, but while she couldn't be saved, if there was any portion of Tau left to salvage, she had to believe that seeing his father would help. She was bitter and angry, and likely to remain so, but that didn't mean Simba had to be.

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samuel leander james
 Posted: Oct 31 2017, 12:04 PM
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A king's time as ruler rises and falls like the sun.

  mufasa
  the lion king
  45 years old
  married
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He was a creature of agony. Pained physically by the shattered body he'd been left with, and haunted emotionally by his own guilt. Never once had he imagined a time when he would not be there to help his son grow, to teach him how to be not just a great King, but a great lion as well. There had been so many lessons he'd never had the chance to teach, so much wisdom he'd been certain he'd get a thousand and one chances to pass on. Now, standing where he'd once presented his son to the world, he realized the error in his thinking. He'd thought himself immortal when he above all others should have known better. Assumed that he would be there to watch his son grow, and to pass his crown on when they were both ready. Had that ruined them both then? There was no denying his own fault here. He would not push for forgiveness he didn't believe he deserved. He had his reasons, and he'd share them, but only once and never to excuse his behavior. He'd known as much from before he'd crossed the portal, and he'd had the idea cemented in his mind in the years he'd spent working as a cop. It didn't matter how sorry you were, or how much regretted what you'd done. If you'd committed a crime, you had to own up to your mistakes.

Even if those mistakes cost you everything that mattered.

Looking at Nala he could only wish that he'd done differently by here. She deserved so much more than what he'd given, they all had. It would have been one thing if he'd actually died at the bottom of that gorge, but he'd been alive. Thriving and carving a new life for himself in another world. Granted it was a stunted half-life. One where he kept himself distant from the people around him, and hedged off any real attempts at making connections...but it was a life.

Surely that was far more than he deserved for leaving them to their fate? He almost didn't think he deserved the answer she gave him now. As cruel as it would have been to have her turn her back to him and leave him to wonder about his son's existence, it wouldn't have been anymore punishment then he deserved for causing all the pain and hurt he saw in her eyes. Or for being unable to fix this. She was a Queen in her own right, a powerful lioness grown and strong. Yet the moment her voice softened and the viper's anger faded from her, he couldn't help but see the cub he'd once known all those years ago. How long had it been since he'd last seen her face to face? That night with the hyenas? It felt almost like a million years had passed since then.

"Alive? He's alive." He almost didn't dare to speak. The relief in his voice was so palpable that it shuddered out of him. Draining an old body of whatever energy still remained. He slumped, then collapsed onto his belly as his legs gave up the fight to keep him upright. "Thank the spirits."

The spirits weren't lying to him then, they weren't hiding the truth from his gaze. Two souls he hadn't felt on the other side, and two souls he now knew were still alive. Which meant...perhaps; Sarabi, Kiara- There was still a chance for his family to find each other. Even if they wanted nothing more to do with him, they could at least be together.

His head tilted up to the sky; sunlight catching in his eyes. "I couldn't feel any of you up there- but now I know. If you're both here, if you're both alive then...maybe..." Head shaking. He felt like an old man then; muttering to himself. Staring at the sky as though it would answer his questions. It had in a sense, he'd just needed a little help figuring it out. Letting his gaze fall back to her. "Thank you. I know- you didn't have to, but thank you."

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nyah jade adebowale
 Posted: Apr 5 2018, 08:28 AM
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I thought you were very brave.

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A GHOST STANDS BEFORE ME
samuel leander james. 711. She's just a sad mama.
The relief that she saw on the old king's face was palpable. He looked as if a heavy weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. There was still a burden there, that she could clearly see, but he didn't seem as troubled as before. And despite her murky feelings towards him, a part of Nyah was glad to see his burden lessened. She knew the pain of a lost child too well. And though the lion before her held no answers for her, no sage words of wisdom to ease her way, she didn't wish him harm. How could she, when this once great king stood slumped and defeated before her. He looked…old, tired, and worn. He wasn't worth fighting. Her anger burned deep, born from a love turned sour, but she clung to it. She would save it for a worthier opponent. For someone who would fight back. Who could help ease the tension that gnawed at her insides. “Why thank them?” She said bitterly before laying down on the sun warmed stone across from him, “They didn't keep your son alive. I did.”

She turned her attention to the thorn in her pad, slightly bored of the sentimentality that she heard in his voice. She had believed in the spirits once. She had pleaded with them, with him, for answers and yet, none had ever come. There had never nor would there ever be a time when the clouds parted and the voices of the old kings spoke to her. Gave her wisdom and guidance. No, instead everything she had ever done or would ever do would be achieved by her own strength. If she lost, it would be because she had not fought hard enough, not because some dead lions or fate deemed it so. She had turned her back on those beliefs; she would abandon them as effectively as they had abandoned her. Belief in their power was crippling, like the thorn in her paw. What good were they when they played favorites or hid things from those that they were meant to guide. Her mother would be shocked by her indifference towards the kings of the past but Nyah found herself no longer caring. Let them banish her. She didn't want to be like them. She didn't want to have to turn a deaf ear to a mother's plaintive cries and pretend to know nothing, to see nothing. And if that made her a traitor, then so be it. Her tongue rasped against the torn flesh of her pad as the old king continued to ramble. A derisive snort escaped her as her teeth gripped the thorn and she yanked it from its resting place. “Maybe what? Maybe my daughter will be returned to me? Maybe my mate will lose that haunted look in his eyes? Maybe I'll be able to look at him without the taint of bitterness and grief?”She shook her head, face firm, eyes burning with a cloud of grief and anger as deep as the gorge that had taken her daughter from her. “The likelihood of that happening, Mufasa, is as likely as either of us growing wings. The spirits don't care about us. We are but play things to them, to be used until we are broken and cast aside. I would have thought that you had learned that by now.”

He could look to the skies as long as he wished but they would give him no answers. None that he liked, in any case. It was time for him to accept what was here, in front of his eyes. His son lived. He should rejoice in that and be grateful that it was so. But to hope for more miracles was greedy and distasteful. Wasn't he the proponent for ‘balance'? Wasn’t that what he had always tried to teach? Then how was this for balance…one parent’s lost cub was found while the other's was gone. Kiara was gone. And in the absence of her bright sunlight, all else was darkness. That was balance. That was the idea of the spirit's “helpful guidance". And the sooner that Mufasa accepted that, the sooner he would be able to heal. Or at least, learn to live with the pain.

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samuel leander james
 Posted: May 9 2018, 01:10 AM
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A king's time as ruler rises and falls like the sun.

  mufasa
  the lion king
  45 years old
  married
  heterosexual
  HE | HIM
  sam (SHE | HER)
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There was so much in this world to grieve for. He didn't need to look very hard to find something that made his heart break; the decimation of his homeland, the absence of his pride, and the taint of darkness in the air. Yet none of those seemed as horrific and heart wrenching as the lioness he saw before him. She wore her grief and suffering as a strength, but the evidence of the damage it had wrought inside of her was evident. Even if he hadn't somehow been granted the ability to read the emotions of those around him on some level. He could feel the strength of her pain, as though it were a physical thing laying in the air between them. Her words were sharp, and he felt the sting of her tone enough to flinch. She'd lost faith. It was understandable after everything she'd been through- the loss she'd felt, the sense of abandonment that followed.

He knew better then to look at her with pity in his eyes. She didn't want pity from him, not when she felt he was the one in need of it. "You're right. You did keep him alive, and for that I thank you as well." There was a small nod to accompany his words, though he grew silent soon after. What could he say, truly? That he understood? That he thought he'd lost his son once, had grieved him all these years? Those words would have been empty. As meaningless as a lie. He'd mourned the loss of his family- but he'd known they lived still. He need only crossed through the portal to see them again. That was nothing in comparison to the feeling of thinking you'd truly, permanently lost the ones you loved.

He still felt weak, and old. Truly, it was hard not to feel like a senile old man, muttering his foolish fantasies and half truths to himself when standing in the wake of her indifference.

"Before you judge me for speaking to the spirits, know this child. I don't thank them for keeping my son alive." He straightened slightly, "They are fools, they see only what they wish to see- after all, what are they but lions just like us, with...how do they say it? Front row seats?" His head shook, mock amusement in his gaze. "Their guidance was based on experience, but what experience would any of them have with any of this?" He'd have stood in that moment, if he could have. Yet he didn't move, and simply let his voice carry the conviction he felt.

"When I was King I tried my best to follow the spirits, but I could never speak to them myself. Not until after the Gorge, not until I was meant to be dead myself." His eyes narrowed in her direction, tail whipping slightly behind them. "I don't think you understand what I am saying when I tell you that I didn't hear you among them. It's because I don't- I hear my father, I hear my mother, I hear every one of them....but I didn't hear you. I didn't hear Simba." He pauses for a moment, head tilting and eyes searching her face. "I don't hear Sarabi...and I don't hear Kiara." His shoulders squared as much as they could in this form. "That is why I thank them, because they are not keeping you from me. They are not hiding your voice- I simply couldn't hear you, because you are still alive."

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nyah jade adebowale
 Posted: Jun 1 2018, 08:29 PM
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I thought you were very brave.

  nala
  The Lion King
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A GHOST STANDS BEFORE ME
samuel leander james. 711. She's just a sad mama.
Still alive? That was what Mufasa believed? How could she explain to him that as much as she would love for it to be true, how much she yearned to hold her daughter close to her once more, it was impossible. She had seen her fall. She had heard the sound as she hit the water. And they had looked. Both she and Simba had looked for any sign. And as much as it hurt her heart to admit it, Kiara was gone. Sacrificed to a legacy that no one, not even the dilapidated king before her, could uphold. “Your beliefs are your own. If you trust in those pious and spiteful creatures, then fine. But don't expect me to. The kings of the past, and the present, have forsaken me. I am on my own.” His attempt at comfort was unwanted. She no longer needed anything from him. When she was a cub, any attention given by the great king was treasured—she had thought the sun rose and set because he commanded it so. Naïve, yes, but she would have done anything, anything that he or his son had asked. Yes, it got her into trouble more often than not with Simba, but it didn't matter. But years of turning to the stars, to him to fix things with no answer at all had crushed that desire. Drowned the flame as surely as Kiara herself. No more was she that quiet cub, contented to follow behind Simba and cower in the grass with little more than a sharp look from the lion in front of her.

She was a Queen. And far more than just in name. She and Sarabi had kept the pride together while they all thought the rightful kings were dead. Where were the spirits then? Did they sanction fratricide? Back Scar as the rightful king? The idea was laughable and yet…not a word of protest came from their well seated rulers. No advice. No guidance. Nothing. They starved. Cubs died. All useless and pointless deaths in the light of Simba's exile and Mufasa's…what had he called them? Rules? All of this death and yet he still expected her to trust in them. Trust in him. She couldn't do it. Not like this.

“Thank them all you like. But I don't trust them to know, or care to share, what my daughter's fate has been. I saw her fall. I scoured the place, any place that she could have washed up for a sign of life. There was nothing. No body. No prints. Nothing. She is gone Mufasa. And I lay her death and the state of Simba at your feet.” Nyah spoke her accusations with as much conviction as Mufasa had. Eyes flashing, tail lashing, she meant every word that she said. He was partly to blame. Just as she and Simba were. Had he not cast such a shadow over his son Simba wouldn't have felt the way he had. If she had been bold enough to make him see that he was wrong…it was a vicious cycle. And as good as it felt to thrust the blame at someone else. To have someone else shoulder the burden of this guilt…it couldn't all be his. Nor Tau's. She held a piece of it as well. And it would slowly eat away at her for the remainder of her days. “There will be no miracle here. So stop praying for one.”


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samuel leander james
 Posted: Jun 27 2018, 11:26 PM
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A king's time as ruler rises and falls like the sun.

  mufasa
  the lion king
  45 years old
  married
  heterosexual
  HE | HIM
  sam (SHE | HER)
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Would there have been a time when he'd raise his voice at her defiance? Possible. He'd never been a king that demanded respect from his pride. He'd worked hard to earn it, to hold it, and be the sort of leader that others would be glad to follow. He had no right to snap at her or demand anything from her, so he didn't. He might have been the chief of police in man's world on the other side of the portal- but here? Here he was just an old lion well passed his prime. Meant to be long dead. Not that he was angry at her....how could he be? He understood her pain, understood her suffering. There had been a time when he'd thought that SImba had not survived his brother's carnage, not until Rafiki informed him otherwise and asked for his assistance. He'd been so certain up until that moment that they'd both lost their lives that day, and that as hard as he'd tried to save his son's life- he'd ultimately failed.

"So be it. It is not my job to try and convince you." His head shook, and despite her words, despite the venom he heard in her tone. There was no loss of conviction, no flinch back from her anger. Let her be mad, let her direct all of that on him if she wished. He deserved nothing less. How long had he assumed that the response to his return would be just like this? That no matter who discovered that he still lived....they would feel betrayed and angry?

He was tired.

He's not sure what he'd expected when he'd come here, but this was certainly more then he felt capable of handling. "I know you don't want my pity child, but I feel it nonetheless. How ironic that you speak of the permanence of death to one who was long thought to be so. Forget hope all you want, accept your own truths, but moments ago you could have said with utmost certainty that I was dead." He straightened slight, old bones creaking. Time to go back- away from this place.

He bowed his head in respect, a subject to their Queen, then moved past her. Back towards the slope that had once been so familiar- steps leading down from Pride Rock to the savanna below. Pausing for a moment, he spoke over his shoulder. "If I recall correctly. Simba saw my body- tried to wake me. Yet here I am. I don't know why, I don't know how- but perhaps, your daughter deserves a little hope. " He doubted that these words would have any more effect on her then his last. After all, he could see that she had no trust in him, no faith in anything except her own abilities to keep her and her pride moving forward. It wasn't a bad thing, he didn't fault her for it. He just.....hated to see her like this, and could imagine what his son must be like. This emptiness must be consuming them.

"It's getting late. We should go, or at least I should. I don't have the strength to fight off the monsters that arise at night- and the portal is a great distance from here. We can go together if you like, but I'd understand if you'd rather cut ties here. Once and for all."

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nyah jade adebowale
 Posted: Jul 5 2018, 08:46 PM
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I thought you were very brave.

  nala
  The Lion King
  33 years old
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  She/Her
  jane (She/Her)
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A GHOST STANDS BEFORE ME
Hope was what the old king asked for. And yet, where it once had been so easy to do, hope and trust in him and the beings that he cherished, he may as well have asked her to sprout wings and soar through the skies. She had hoped. For months. Stars above, for years. For some sign. Something from him. A glimpse of the old Simba amidst the guilt filled eyes of Tau. To see her daughter's face again. But there had been nothing. On all accounts. And the fact that there was no answer at all it had turned her heart to stone. Anything would have been better than the silence she had received. As if those she prayed to for guidance didn't have the answers, as Mufasa suggested, but not only that, but they didn't care for her at all. She felt written off. Pushed aside. Deemed unimportant in the king's shadow. And perhaps it was prideful of her to want more. To been seen by the ancestors, by Mufasa, on her own. For what she was and what she had done. But no matter how hard she tried, she was and always would be, lost in Tau's shadow. Relegated to stand behind him not walk beside him. And though it had been enough for countless queens before her…it wasn't enough for her. Not in light of what she had suffered and sacrificed in those years with Scar as king.

But despite everything, when her time came to beg and plead for answers, none came. She was once again not enough. And that, along with her daughter's fate, jaded her beyond all recognition. Very little of that joyful cub remained in the lioness that she was today. Mufasa was nearly unrecognizable in his current state, hunched and flawed, a diminished shadow to the radiant sun that he once had been. He no longer knew her, she could see it on his pitying face. But she no longer knew him either. The king she had known would have fought tooth and claw for his pride, despite what the ancestors decreed. They were strangers to each other now. Strangers with a past darker than the churning river that had swallowed her daughter and the last of her hope.

Ironic, though it may be to cling to the sureness of death, especially knowing what she knew of Simba's—and now Mufasa's—tendencies to claw their way of the grave but she knew in her heart that if Kiara was alive, she would have found her by now. Or if not her bodily, then some kind of sign. But there had been nothing. And there would continue to be nothing. Because the great kings were spiteful, despite Mufasa's beliefs, and they cared not a bone for the feelings of her or anyone else. “We can't all be as star-blessed as you, Mufasa. Whatever fate the great kings had for you and your son is not the same for my daughter and I.” Her voice was tired and her shoulders slumped but she believed her words. And no amount of prodding from this king, nor any other would cause her to change her mind.

But despite her feelings, she knew that Tau would benefit from seeing his father again. It would be good for them both to reconnect. Perhaps Mufasa could pull him from the brink of whatever darkness he continued to stare into. Perhaps he could give Tau the hope that she couldn't take. “Come. I'll go with you as far as the portal. It wouldn't do to find you only to have you disappear before you see your son.” She rose and turned to head down the slope of Pride rock, not looking to see if he would follow her. If he would trust her to keep him safe. She knew he would, what choice did he have when his own paws held so little strength. She didn't know what she would do when they reached the portal, whether she would follow him through and shed her rightful skin and show him the shape she took on the other side or if she would simply escort him there and stay behind. Share whatever knowledge he needed to find Tau and let them mend their broken bond without her. In the face of her bitterness, she didn't know if she could face what was bond to be such a touching reunion. She needed this to work for Tau. And her own skepticism would taint him. Taint them both. She supposed that she would just have to take her cue from the king who padded alongside her. She knew he'd have an opinion on the subject, he had an opinion on every subject it seemed, and she would let him be her guide. Just this once.


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