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 ADMIN HIATUS, !!!NOT AN ABSENCE!!!
★FOREST
 Posted on: Sep 25 2017, 08:49 PM
veronica lodge
❝ eventually, there will be a reckoning...or...maybe that reckoning is now. and maybe that reckoning is me. ❞
riverdale
22
5'0"
ASEXUAL
SINGLE
480

FOREST



Hey guys, it's me again!

In the past few months, I've had a lot go wrong in my life. If you've taken the time to read my previous absence thread, you'll know that basically everything that could go wrong in my life has - that thread doesn't even include every little thing that's happened - and it's been extremely difficult for me to pick myself up and keep on going every day. I've been through some tough times in my life, but this summer has been one of the worst stretches of time that I've ever endured, and on top of all the elements of my life that have been thrown out of wack, I've been battling some pretty severe depression, the likes of which I haven't felt for many, many years and never thought i'd feel again. I have somewhat of a game plan right now, and it seems like everything's settling down again and I'm finally getting myself untangled, but I've said that time and again since the start of the summer and new things have come up. This time, I want to be sure before I make any promises.

With everything going on in my personal life and in my head, I know that I haven't been here as a proper admin should, nor have I even been present as a member all that much, and that isn't fair to my fellow staff or to you. So, after much consideration and discussion with Amanda and Sam, I've decided to take a step back from being an admin to focus on myself, both in my personal life and as an active member of EDS. My plan is to be back in full as an admin by the beginning of the new year for a fresh start and a clean slate, and in the meantime I'm going to focus on getting caught up on posts, some plotting, and sorting things out in my head.

When I return, I'll post again and remove the hiatus notice from my account, but PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME WITH ADMIN THINGS BEFORE THAT. This includes PMs about the AC, apps, or any other work that the admins do here - please direct these PMs to Amanda and Sam.

All this said, I'm still around, hopefully even more than I have been recently! Don't count me out just yet! C: I'm here to post and party, and I'm not going anywhere! I love you guys very much - thanks for your patience with me. <3

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★FOREST
 Posted on: Dec 17 2017, 03:12 PM
veronica lodge
❝ eventually, there will be a reckoning...or...maybe that reckoning is now. and maybe that reckoning is me. ❞
riverdale
22
5'0"
ASEXUAL
SINGLE
480

FOREST



[deep inhale]

It is time.

Once again, I'd like to say thank you for being so patient with me. This summer and early fall were incredibly difficult, and I hit some really bad lows where I seriously wondered if I should move home for the sole purpose of getting into therapy and such. But I didn't really want to do that because I do love living in Montana and keeping some distance between me and my family.

Ultimately, I ended up seeing my doctor while I was visiting home, and I explained all about my anxiety and depression and how urgently I needed help, but couldn't get into therapy. He was a fantastic resource for me, and not only did he prescribe an anti-anxiety medication for me to try, but he called me every few weeks to see how I was doing. I'm definitely one of those people who hates being on medications, but now that I've gotten used to this one and stabilized, I can for sure tell you that oh boy howdy did I need it. The best way to describe it is that I feel like a person again, and I haven't felt like a person for a very long time, probably since middle school.

I can do human things!
I can make phone calls!
I can go new places by myself!
I even drove in snow for the first time yesterday without panicking and/or crying!

The one thing I was hoping to have figured out before I came back is a job. Unfortunately, though I've applied to a lot of places, I haven't even gotten so much as a single interview, which is very discouraging. :/ I'm not quite sure why that is, but hopefully things will change very soon because I'm getting cabin fever with nothing to do but hang around my apartment, and it's only going to get worse as winter progresses. So, that is one thing that may hinder my activity in the future - when I get a job, I'll probably be a bit quieter again while my schedule adjusts and such, but for now I'm present and accounted for and back to my adminly duties!

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