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 u-u, just kinda slow
mortimer aeron wynter
 Posted on: Feb 7 2018, 10:38 PM
death
❝ As a multi-dimensional representation of death, i kind of don’t think anything is strange. ❞
the universe
22
5'11"
pansexual
single
164

sam



I'm probably being a bit premature here, but I've noticed over the last few days/weeks that I've been feeling kind of...tired. I get overwhelmed a lot faster now and while I have a job, I'm still having money issues and the stress from that accompanied with dealing with people on a daily basis has kind of chewed me out. Obviously I'm not going anywhere and I hesitate to even consider this an absence, but I do think I need to step back for a little bit. I've been trying the last few months to get posts in everyday and I keep hitting a brick wall mid-week and I think those stops and starts haven't helped me much either. My muse is low, I feel really gross and insecure about my writing, and just the list goes on and on really. I'll probably still be writing posts and talking and being here, hell who knows this feeling might just evaporate tomorrow. The point is I'm in one of those emotional phases where I feel like nothing matters and I should just lay facedown on my bed with ghost ship playing in the background. Just know that I love you all a lot and I'm sorry if I'm even more absentminded and forgetful than usual. I'm especially sorry if I reached out for plots when I was feeling a little better and then dropped off the face of the earth, or that I let posts sit for so long only to give you some weak reply 200 years too late. ;o;

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takashi hiraku tachibana
 Posted on: Feb 8 2018, 01:26 PM
Tadashi Hamada
❝ Hey, I'm not giving up on you. ❞
Big Hero 6
23
6'0
Heterosexual
Single
12

Kay



Oi, Sam, Sammy, Samaroo, don't you worry about a thing hun! You can't be happy all the time, and I don't think anyone here would expect that of you for a second. If you're stressed and have a low muse, you can't help that. Taking time for yourself now and then is healthy ^-^

But don't you dare think for a second that you're writing is bad. You are such a creative and lovely person- plus a fabulous admin- but most of all you are a terrific writer :D I will fight you on this >.> So don't you tempt me lady!

We'll be in the chat for ya whenever you want to chat or vent or just wanna lurk ^-^ Do what you gotta girl and this phase will (hopefully) pass. Til then, just know we adore you <3
^
gary cornelius osborn
 Posted on: Feb 9 2018, 02:07 PM
Cornelius
❝ ❞
thumbelina
23
5'9
bisexual
single
25

Acxe



Sam,

Do not even worry about your writing. It is fantastic and this is supposed to be fun. So as long as you do your best on each post, even if your best is few and far between that day, then I appreciate it. You matter more to me then all your characters combined, and that is saying a lot because you got a little army. O.o I feel both amazement and utter failure, at my own skills, when I see you having so many characters and successfully getting them to have at least one post each month.

On top of all that you have one of the most important jobs of admin on here. Thank you for everything that you do. You are most appreciated here, so go do what you have to do. We will be here when you come back.

With all the love I can muster,

~Acxe
^
thomas north bale
 Posted on: Feb 13 2018, 11:06 PM
thomas
❝ Both Eyes Open ❞
Pocahontas
25
6'4"
Heterosexual
Single
68

sam



Thanks luvs for your words ;o; they really do mean the world to me. Even if my headspace is all kinds of wonky right now. Of course apart from my general 'meh' about everything, or perhaps directly causing it, is life stress. Most importantly the realization that while I did finally, thankfully, get a job...it's not enough. The money I make each month does not cover the rent or the bills and the threat of eviction is a steadily growing possibility since I don't know IF I'll have the money I need in time to pay everything I need to pay. If it was a question of budgeting then sure, fine, I know I need to work on that- but it's not. I don't spend money on gas, I don't leave my house except to walk to the mailbox. I order my groceries online but arguably once or twice a month and usually focusing on sales and things like pasta and cans of tuna that I can make last. In either case I just can't be in this apartment anymore. It's too expensive, it drains me dry and leaves me scrambling with no chance of putting money aside, or spending on things I enjoy.

So this little hiatus that I'm on is possibly going to have to extend. I don't know for how long, or when it will end. I can't even tell you if I'll have enough to pay my rent next month. I'm currently looking for apartments and my search radius is spreading every day because at this point I don't care where I have to go, so long as I can afford to live there. I called some places today but the results weren't very promising. Once I do find a place it's going to be...an effort to move in. Not only do I have to find the money to pay all the fees, I have to pay for a truck and people to move my shit because I don't have friends or family around who could help me move. It's going to be...a Time, and I'm not entirely sure I'm in the right headspace to handle it, but we'll see.

When it does happen the goal is to not lose internet at all during that time. My job is home based and my work is highly dependent on the internet. I can't afford to miss any days so you guys will probably see me constantly even when I'm in the middle of moving.


Just....fingers crossed for me friends. I'm so, stressed, and the idea of losing my home again so soon after the last one is really jarring to me. So please don't be too upset if I don't talk as much or if I complain too often, or just seem constantly down and dejected about everything. I don't mean it, honest, and either way I'm just glad you're all here. I don't think I could handle any of this without you guys. ;O;
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